Nice Lady On The Second Floor:

Thank you for killing all the horseflies in our building’s entranceway. 

We bonded over those flies. I was coming in, and you were going out, or vice versa, and we both commented on the fly situation. The sheer, hideous number of them. 

The next day I found you in the entranceway, unloading an entire can of Raid into the air. You’re a woman of action.

I hope you enjoyed your walk the other night.

Also:

Your dog: could you get it to stop barking so much?

And is Jose your brother? nephew? cousin? What’s going on there?

- Guy On The Third Floor, Who Did Nothing About The Flies

Crazy Lady On The Second Floor:

The Nice Lady On The Second Floor tells me that when you’re screaming en Español at five in the morning, you’re screaming about “white people using the Internet.”

Is this true?

Please know I mean you no harm. 

- Guy That Is Really A Nice Guy If You Just Get To Know Him

Guy At The Bodega Who Makes My Sandwiches:

You make great sandwiches. Thank you.

Guys at other bodegas, they always want to put mayo on your sandwich. It’s like they get commission off it or something.

But not you. You know I don’t like mayo. 

And you’re good with both the eggs and the cold cuts. At this point, I trust you with any kind of sandwich.

But what happened to the Other Guy Who Used To Make My Sandwiches? I liked him, too, and I have a feeling that The Guys That Run The Store may have fired him, but I don’t want to ask and make it uncomfortable because this is the best bodega in the neighborhood. 

- Guy That Usually Comes In Around Noon Looking Haggard

The Three People At The Dry Cleaners Always Sitting Near The Register:

You’ve taught me a lovely word: morado, purple, the color of my laundry bag.

Morado does mean purple, right?

- Guy That Always Says He Needs His Laundry Done By The Next Day, But Then Forgets To Pick It Up

Lady At The Health Food Store:

I am enjoying my multivitamins.

- Guy Who Thinks A Multivitamin Will Counteract The Effects Of Slouching At A Desk For 10-12 Hours A Day